You want to get back with your ex girlfriend but she won’t talk to you? Do you find yourself calling her begging her to come back to you, promising to change your ways? Are you leaving lots of desperate messages because she won’t even pick up the phone or return your calls? Do you feel scared that you are running out of time and that she might start seeing someone else… if you don’t win her back soon? Whooooah there! You need to put the brakes on before you scare her away for good. If you want any chance of rebuilding a loving, trusting relationship with your ex girlfriend again you need to be strong and give her some space… to begin with.

I want to give you 3 tips to help get you and your ex girlfriend talking again so that you can work on building a relationship with her again.

1. Stop calling her – in fact leave it 30 days before you make contact

Think about how you have behaved in her eyes since you broke up e.g. constantly calling her even though she won’t talk to you… one minute begging her to come back and the next, angry and shouting at her etc. Put yourself in her shoes and try to imagine how she sees you… and STOP any of those negative behaviours now or you risk looking immature or worse still reported for harassment. Use those 30 days positively, start looking after yourself, get down the gym, see friends and do things that build your confidence and make you feel good.

2) Keep things polite and civilised at all times – don’t get angry

The next time you bump into her when you are out in town or a bar etc just smile and say “hello” but then go off and do your own thing or you could even politely say that since she is there you will leave if it will make her feel more comfortable (keep it nice and polite!)

3) Do the unexpected and get her curiosity going

I know I already said this but it is sooooo important! If you have been trying to talk to your ex, calling her several times of day (or even once a day) stop… completely… STOP! Did I say stop calling her? Well just for good measure STOP! (and that includes emails and text too) Stay away from the phone for at least 30 days and then make one call to say that you were thinking of her and wondered if she was doing ok… just keep it simple. Please trust me on this. If she doesn’t answer, do NOT leave a message, leave it another 2 days and try again. Eventually she will be curious and may even call you! If she starts to sound suspicious wanting to know why you really called just reassure her that you just called because you missed her and wanted to check she is ok. If the conversation goes well you could ask her if she would like to meet for a quick coffee… it’s important at this stage that you are not asking for anything that requires too much commitment on her part. Just keep it light-hearted and short – just meet up for half an hour. Be strong and end the call on a good note.